Gentle in Spirit

“AHHH, are you out of your mind.” How many times have you gotten yelled at for simple mistakes or even for situations out of your control? Personally speaking, I have gotten yelled at a few times in my life, and it sucks!

I proposed this question to my Sunday School Students: How do you react to irritating situations?

Many answered the obvious, “I get mad and give them a piece of my mind.” “I just walk away and not talk to them.” “it is their fault I get irritated.”

The main aspect of my character that I give to God and attempt to work on daily is my temper, the quickness of my flesh to become engulfed in frustration. I share my struggle with everyone. The kids from my church were in disbelief when I admitted my great aptitude to get an attitude. Because I am always in a “good mood”, they assume that I do not get bothered or upset.

And, it took me to a state of ponder of my youthful years. Yelling or aggressiveness was never part of my life. My mother was always patient and talked to us; my godmother is one of, if not, the most patient and soft spoken lady, and I myself grew up in silence. That is, until I came to the self-realization that boldness overpowered silence and tenderness in most situations. Now that I am older, I confess that I have been impulsive in my emotions and quick to irritation; I have allowed, in many cases, for my flesh to react in a very harsh manner towards others. I deeply apologize.

In present day, it saddens me to witness the youth and even the adults be quick to anger and irritation. We are the representation of Christ. We are not Christ himself but Christ-like. Our light must shine as we walk in the gentle spirit of God. The word states that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The spirit of God is like the eye of the storm. Even when you are surrounded by destruction and darkness, the spirit keeps you in state of serenity. We must not allow the enemy to take that away; for it comes to steal, kill, and destroy.  This is not a battle we fight in flesh. I always find that I am reminding myself and the kids to be thoughtful in our actions. If someone stirs your spirit, before you act foolishly, pray and walk away if needed. Do not allow the enemy to steal your peace or joy. We live in battle of spirit and flesh.

I pray daily for the world, my church, the youth, my friends, my family and myself. That God may use us as His vessel. It is amazing all that God has done for and in me. The fact that the kids notice that I am always in a good mood means that the spirit dwells in me even when my flesh would like to react opposite. I have been appointed to guide the younger generations, and it is a great responsibility. The apostle Paul in the book of Ephesians urges us to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Next time, when someone irritates your spirit or angers you, do not be quick to lash out, instead settle your own spirit. Do not allow the enemy to win those small battles. The enemy lurks at our homes, workplaces, and even at our church, but let us stomp on the enemy. And together, we shall rebuke it all. In the name of Jesus.

Be kind,

Be patient
Be gentle in spirit

Pain is Beauty

Planet Earth and all the wonders of the universe are mesmerizing. Aesthetically amazing! The ability for a rose to break through concrete; the strength of the land to repair itself; and the boldness of the sun after a storm display the beauty that exists within the pain of destruction. Pain is dressed in beauty; and beauty is drenched in strength.

You are loved! Regardless of the circumstance or struggle you are still loved. Jesus loves you and so does the rest of humanity. At times, it seems like our fellow humans lack the emotion of loving others, but the fact of the matter is that every single individual is fighting a battle; emotionally, physically, or even spiritually. Nonetheless, it is still a battle. We attempt to isolate ourselves or mask our pain without realizing that we are all fraying alongside one another. Instead, we should embattle in unity. Overall keep in mind that ‘today you are drawing near for battle against your enemies: let not your heart faint. Do not fear or panic or be in dread of them,  for the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory.’ (Deuteronomy 20:3-4) Therefore, you are not alone! You stand with the armies of angels. God has already won war!

Remember, you are not alone in this world. Different languages may exist but we are united by the same composition.

Now allow me to tell you that the beauty that radiates derives from the

mayhems we overcome. That luminesce smile that you posses does not originate from perfection but from the triumphs in our lives. Your smile dresses you in beauty; for you are able to light up the world even when chaos surrounds you. We learn and grow during pains. Do not fear to speak out and tell your story. The girl sitting by you in the bus might be fighting the same struggle, the man who always seems grumpy might be trying to heal, and the kid who is restless might be screaming in silence.

Do not isolate yourself or push others away, instead give your pain a voice so that others may may know that they are not alone. Healing occurs when we treat the wounds not by hiding it.

There is beauty in your journey.

The Seed

************************ The sunrise reflected on your beautiful face

As you arose early morning before the birds sang

Oh, the inception was a memorable thing,

But the clock had already begun to race.

You realized you were not the same,

“Why am ill! I have never been a weakling.”

Oh, but God works in mysterious ways.

You were definitely in dismay

Waited so long for this day

That you even lost all hope

Thinking it was impossible, unattainable, simply a mere dream, an empty prayer

But God’s words are not spoken in vain.

The seed was implanted; attached I was by the living cord.

You told the world about me with no delay.

I heard the melody of your voice

Ooh, so sweet and beautiful full of joy!

Impatience grew for the day of nativity;  

The moment the seal of life would be torn.

Oh dear Mother, I thank you for keeping me warm,

And embracing me in your vitality.

Nine months later, you gave life to your newborn. ********************

Anxiety: How I Overcome It

Life can be like a dark cave; lonely, cold, and hopeless. A cave so spacious yet not enough oxygen for my lungs. Engulfed by fear until it suffocates every ounce of insanity. The feeling creeps into every living cell and turns your own being against you in battle. When you experience anxiety the whole world caves; it drowns you. I have suffered from anxiety since I was in intermediate school. Very few people knew especially since abnormalities of any sort are used for ridicule. The older I became, the more I learned how to control it. As a disclaimer, I am not a physician or professional therapist; therefore, the following are methods I have discovered to work for me.

Let go!

My toughest challenge has always been control. I must be in control at all times, which is not an ideal quality if you have anxiety. Slowly, I have let go of the reigns. Scheduling every aspect of my day or activities are no longer being practiced. I learned to accept failure as growth rather than a complete stop. And, being spontaneous is an essential part of my life now. Know that God is in control! I keep mentioning that I had plans from A to Z and every single one failed, not because I am inadequate but because those were not the roads for me. We all have a specific path to walk in order to fulfill a destiny and a purpose.Therefore, loosen up a bit and let go and learn to soar like the Eagle. Control what is in reach and fly with the wind on the rest.

Learn to smell life

The stench of death is penetrating to the soul; an unforgettable scent. Unfortunately, we tend to remember all the horrid instead of the beautiful. I had to learn to stop and smell life. You discover the sweet scent of the roses, the pines, the barbeques, the sea, the rain, and and the sweet aroma of life itself. Do not allow time to outtick you. Live in the moment. Live as the big hand, the one that sits and enjoys every second. Juggling school, family, church, relationships, kids (for those who have them), and yourself is and can be overwhelming. During any time of your routine, remember to stop, take a breath, and smell life.

Break a little sweat 

This one method is the most common but effective. Implementing daily workouts is important to maintain a healthy body. Gain control of your body; do not let it control you. When you suffer from anxiety, often times, your body attacks itself causing the inception of many illnesses. Taking a walk, going for a hike, or even a jog has helped maintain low stress levels. Stress will always be part of life but we must learn to manage. I am not a professional trainer or even really good at working out, but it is part of my daily routine. At least, I try.

Tell your story

Conversation is an art. My favorite kind of art to be honest. The immature Sahara would think that telling someone about my feelings was impossible because surely they would not understand, but I was wrong. Now at the age of twenty-three, I have realized that sharing your story has more power than burying it with silence. When you share your journey you heal yourself and the one listening. Words bandage our heart. We are not alone in our pains and struggles. The person sitting next to you, the one walking by your side, the one you bump into at the grocery store, or even the one you have known since childhood shares some of the very same difficulties or struggles you have or currently experience. Speak up and tell your story; for it has power!

A dose of Jesus

And most importantly, having the love and compassion and mercy of Jesus in your life makes all the difference. Pray wholeheartedly, read the bible daily, worship with all your strength, and fellowship with your brothers and sisters in Christ. God will take care of all that is in your heart. He can heal your soul. There is power in the name of Jesus. Take care of your spirit and be watchful of what you allow in your heart.

In this past year, I have committed to all of these methods and I have been better than ever! Before I used to have panic and anxiety attacks every week, and now, I have had one in the past year. Hallelujah!

We worry so much about being trapped in a cave that we forget to follow the light; we forget that there is a way out.

I got out and so can you!

So, what is your story?

Can You Survive?

Are you able to survive a zombie apocalypse? Would you run? Would you fight? Would you hide? Would you just give up and become one of them?

Hmmmm…….

Little do you know that majority of us are zombies. Obviously not the kind that eat brains for survival, but the kind that have sacrificed brains for the prosperity of the future. You see, college literally drains your living soul. Do not get me wrong, it is the best season of life, but it is also the worst.

No one warns you about the monster you encounter in college. The aesthetic view of college is deceiving; the fun, all the free time, true independence and freedom, along with almost guaranteed success. Wooahh! I was ready! High school was a breeze for me, and I was positive I could handle anything and everything; I have a gamma brain.

Ooohhh, but I was in it for a rude awakening!

The first lesson I learned was that life happens and it happens at any time. Because I knew failure was a possibility, I prepared an A through Z life plan. I ensured that I would make it to the top regardless of any obstacle. Houston Baptist University accepted little ole me; I was even part of the Honors College which is awesome by the way. A new thrilling and nerve-wracking experience, I could not wait for it to unravel. Well, during the same time my family went through a midlife crisis. My father had a meltdown and was unable to handle the stress, as a consequence, he left with the excuse that he did not ask for all this. At the time, I was only eighteen, full of hope and dreams, until I realized that as the oldest sibling I was now responsible for the family. The stress, the anxiety, and the burdens crept in quite chaotically all at once. I worked three jobs to sustain our needs and my tuition. It was not easy especially since my overachieving ego challenged my intellect with seventeen credit hours and three jobs. How did I manage?? By crying a lot. I cried an ocean. Adulthood rushed in like a tsunami.

I must admit that the friends I gained were the greatest support. They were spiritually prescribed by God. Just like I did, you will realize that college is better lived in a group than in solitude. Life will happen all at once, but it happens to us all, not just you. On the very first day, I met my good friend Natalie. We literally clicked and became friends, inseparable really. Later on, I met Madison (the sweetest girl ever), Erica (the funniest person you can ever meet), Kristen ( so smart and unique), Kate ( a talented genius), Alanna (an artist at heart and witty), Carlos ( always positive and fashionable), amongst so many others. Even though we do not keep in communication on the daily, we still look out for one another. You will discover that the differences and “flaws” that exist in each one of us is what creates the most beautiful piece of art. You will also realize that everyone has a story. Everyone has a struggle. Everyone has a talent. Everyone has good and bad days. Everyone fails at times, but they get back up and continue in battle. The amazing part is that I was not alone. I had them.

College is not a breeze. It will require a lot of hours. You will be sleep deprived, might even sleepwalk. Do not be surprised when you do not seem yourself. If you stay on campus, then enjoy everything it has to offer. If you are like me, a commuter, make sure you make time to socialize and partake in college activities. You will not regret it! Manage your time wisely and accept advice from others. Congratulations in advance if you graduate within the four years. If you do not, it is okay. You have time to complete it. Personally, I was unable to finish within athe four years due to finances and life happening, but I am in the processes of completing my degree; less than two years left. Regardless of the situation, it is never too late and you are never too old to make your dreams come true.

Lastly, keep God as the center of your life. I mentioned I had a plan from A to Z, well they all failed! Seriously. I will tell you later about that story. Jeremiah 29:11 states that God will not harm you but prosper you and give you hope and a good life. We must listen to His instruction.

I do not regret anything. I appreciate the hardship because I grew as a warrior in this life. The journey I have been on has brought me to the place I ought to be; a place of peace, happiness, prosperity, and love. My family is reunited and I met my significant other and everything is falling in place. I thank Jesus every day for all I have experienced!

No one ever tells you! But you will become a zombie just like us all! Your brain is fried and wired to live off no sleep and barely enough food.

Can you survive the journey?

Good Luck!!!

Remember, the world is in your hands.