God was guiding me; I was rebelling

What a year! I think everything that could possibly happen, happened. Literally. The start of the year was a bit rocky; finances were not all that good, my vehicle ran on fumes, father was laid off, amongst other unfortunate situations. Despite the negative, I held on to all the positive vibes the universe unearthed for me.  

I really thought I had it going on. I thought I had control of my life.  

Then, God came through.  

You see, God has been my first priority. No doubt, He comes first. However, I was trying to set up my own course. AGAIN!  As if, I did not learn my lesson the first time. 

God was guiding me; I was rebelling. 

I am a rebel by nature, an alpha female by birthright, and one stubborn girl. He made me in His image, therefore, He knows the depth of who I am.  

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:21) 

Thank you, Jesus, for your grace, love, and mercy. 

 Yes, my significant other and I parted ways, my dad is in another country, and I am an immigrant and so on and so on. My God is greater than all of it. I was placing so much hope in my significant other, that I lost a little sense of God’s greatness. We had been together since I was nineteen and we loved each other, so it was easy to think that marriage was the end goal. It would have opened the door to citizenship faster, since congress has TPS applicants on the verge of a yes or no. It just seemed so right to me. However, it did not feel right. God intervened. God gives and takes away. To many of us, like myself, feel like the good things are taken away, but that is a deception from the enemy. He did it for me because He knew I would trust Him less if I got my way. 

You see, my dad is another country. I am not able to travel. But yet, God made a way when I was not able to make one for myself! God made a way! Prayer does work. There is power in the name of Jesus, I tell you. 

I was heartbroken, sad, and angry, and yet, I was embraced in love and peace. Jesus saved me from my own tyranny. While gathering the pieces of my heartbreak, I was consoled, mended, and made whole. In the midst of my pain and sadness, I found my joy. While fighting the torments of anger, I found forgivingness. I found myself at the feet of Jesus. Many might think it to be a cliché or unreal or a joke, but God does part the sea for His people. 

Check this out!  

I have a new car. I received a raise at both of my jobs. A door opened to work with kids at a school. All bills are paid with a little extra. My credit score is looking good. I graduated. I am still documented. I have traveled to Denver. Drove to Austin. Road trip from Texas through New Mexico to Arizona and back again. My friends are getting to know Jesus. My family is united. We have health. I am happy. I have peace. And wait for it, I was able to travel to my homeland, Honduras. Only God can stunt that way!  

It all happened in one year. Imagine what God could do with your time. 

The first part of the year, I felt as if I had lost. Because of my losses, I have gained a faith that moves mountains. My God is able!! 

2019, I am officially letting you go! 

2020 here we come! 
And I am not alone. It's me,

God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  

When odds are against me God has my back

“ Get up!” “Get up and move!” At the very moment I thought about just giving up on everything, but God kept saying to “get up and move.”

Pretty crazy, huh!

Yes, God does speak to us. Sometimes, we get wrapped around our own chaos that we are unable to hear the voice of God or simply choose not to listen. In my case, I am choosing to listen. There was a time I refused to do so, believe it or not. But, I am living by Proverbs 12:15.

Yes! I wanted to give up. Life has been a journey of many downs and a few wonderful ups. In these past two months, I must confess that life has happened ALL AT ONCE.

Many of you may know that I was not born in this country. My parents immigrated to this country when I was two years old. We have not had the easiest journey becoming legal. Along the path, we faced circumstances where we became stuck. Unfortunately, with the uncertainty of the legal system, a few of my family members had to return to our country, my father being one of them.

The pain is not understood until you actually live through it. The separation of my family has been a really heartbreaking transition. Especially since I did not get to have a farewell moment.

Are you ready for the icing on the cake.

Well, that same week all of that occurred, my boyfriend of years (3-4, I never kept count of the days) also departed from my life. Talk about a double dagger. Even though I will love him forever, it is probably for the best. The words that were spoken that day between us has marked our hearts deeply. God has a plan for each one of us. I believe it! I wish the best for him. May all his goals and dreams come true. Regardless of our relationship, he is still a wonderful person. I love him so deeply but God needed me to love and trust Him more than any man.

Crazy! The two man I prayed for the most were the ones that walked out of my life on the same day.

God has a way of answering our prayers.

I prayed for the hand of God to intervene in the life of my father and significant other in a way that would bring them to the Lord. I asked for God to intervene in my life in such a way that I would know that He was with me. I kept praying and praying but I did not see any movement. OOOH!! But God was always with me! And, He definitely intervened in my life in such a way that I had no option but to dive into deep waters.

I did not ask why, instead I prayed for strength and comfort.

I did not ask why me, instead I prayed for Him to mold me.

I did not ask why again, instead I prayed for Him to use me.

I did not ask for explanations, instead I surrendered and accepted His will.

If Christ suffered, then who are we not to suffer in this world. Our pains are incomparable to what Christ endured for us. I praise Him in the good and in the bad for my joy comes from the Lord. I can definitely testify to this!!

Now the cherry on top.

Well, there is much uncertainty in my life at this very moment. Especially in the legal aspect. But I know God is with me.

I had an emotional episode in my vehicle, and the words replayed in my head “It is not my fault you’re an immigrant so why should I have to fix it.” And, I started to contemplate on all the plans I had made and how everything was supposed to be and so forth. And God spoke and said, “Who are you trusting? Me or man.” I got chills! And, I realized that I was placing my hopes in man. The political decisions might seem to be against my favor, I will not be getting married any time soon, and I have no one else to help me, but I have God on my side. That is all I need! God will make a way! He has already told and has showed me!

Praise the name of Jesus!!

So here I stand! Moving forward educationally, having favor at the job, and most importantly walking deeper with God! 

Yes, I have been sad, but I am full of joy because I know God has my back.

My car was thirsty after every drive.

If you live in any heavily populated city, like Houston, then you know the craziness in the streets: the chaos, the rule-breaking, the rudeness, and especially the rage of the Honk. The streets of Houston are not for everyone.

Roughly four years ago, I purchased a vehicle which at the time was in excellent condition. It would start faithfully on the first turn of the key. My blue Nissan Altima was very good to me.

And then something changed…

The first incident occurred about one year ago. I had planned an outing at Discovery Green for the youth kids at my church. Everything we needed was packed in the Altima, and off we were to our first adventure. It was a great outing.

It was time to head home, and once again we packed and hopped in the vehicle…I placed my key in the ignition annndddd….. tuk-tuk---tccheee…tchheee….tche. And, it was dead!

With a new battery, it revived the Altima. It worked for a while until it needed a new alternator. After those repairs, once again, it ran smoothly. That is, until the semi-flood during Labor Day. My father was eager to do a little shopping, but the sky was falling. I warned him, “Dad it’s raining. We can’t go.” Well, there is no such thing as “no” or “we can’t” according to my dad and off to the city we went. Needless to say, we got stuck in few inches of rain. Being the impatient person my father is, he demanded I get us home. I definitely did but at what cost? Well, I lost my front license plate and my car was drenched from the inside. It reeked of wet dog! it just went downhill from there.

A few days following the flood, my Altima began to heat up. One day I blasted the AC and I noticed how the air was visible. It looked icy cold! And, it was. I did not pay any attention, I kept on driving from city to city.

One day, I turned my key…. And pup..pup..pupp..ppup..pppppuupppppp..pup..pupp…puppp…pppppppppppppup! It puffed and it huffed until it turned on. It took ten minutes for my Altima to live again. TEN MINUTES for it to turn on every time after that. But, I stood by my Altima. My air condition was not working, but it was winter time and I could just roll the windows down. I was adjusting to the changes.

Yes, the logical thing would have been to get a new car, especially if it was in need of repairs every other week. But, I just needed the car to give me six more months; just six months to get my credit score a bit higher by getting out of a few debts. My Altima was repaired for the millionth time, and I kept running the streets like nothing. It still took ten minutes for it to turn on, my ac was not working, now that spring arrived my windows jammed and I could not roll them down, and now I carried water jugs. My car was thirsty after every drive. And to top it off with a cherry, my car was now turning off in the middle of a drive. I still did not let go of my Altima. How could I!? We lived through the best and worst moments together.

However, I did become very frustrated. Every time my car left me stranded, I held on to the steering wheel and screamed until my voice went out “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! God I know you see my struggle!! I am sick and tired! In the name of Jesus, turn on! Just get me to point B!.” Hence, in Houston’s ninety degree weather, I was hot and sweating atomic bombs. I WAS ANGRY! I could not contain the tears or the massive headaches that followed.
I filled up my car with water every morning; my windows did not roll down; my ac did not work; and now my poor Altima could not hold in its farts. At every red light, it would literally kick back and “PPPPPPPOOOPPPPPPPPP…PPPPOOPPPP..PPUPPP.PUP..PUPP….PPPPOOPPP” while puffs of smoke engulfed the drivers behind me. Often times when it began to tremble, it would just turn off. I was stressed and I cried in my car almost every day for the last two weeks of its life. I did not have the luxury of going through a drive-through. If I forgot my jugs, then there was a risk of not getting home or to the next destination. It was a struggle!
There is so much to this story!

But to sum it up, I would like you to know that I have purchased a new vehicle. God is good! He definitely saw my struggle and heard my prayers. I was going to settle for a 2010 vehicle with handles to roll down the windows, but my God made a way for me to get a 2018 vehicle with electrical system, Bluetooth, and a rear-view camera. It was more than I needed and expected. I am blessed!

Now,I drive with no worries!


God makes a way even when our eyes see nothing but dead ends.