Get Up, Shake if off, and Get to Praising

It does get better! 

You might be sitting on your couch feeling defeated, as if that is it. Telling yourself, “ This is the end of the road.” Who lied to you though!? As long as the sun rises, the opportunities are endless. So, get up, shake it off, and get to praising.

Surely, you must tell yourself, she is just full of it; she could not possibly know what I am feeling. I do share the same moments. The moments of defeat. When every door slammed in my face; education, finances, family, friends, and love. Yes, I have survived those nights with my face buried in my pillow screaming my lungs out, choking on the broken pieces of my heart. I have cried through nights of hopelessness. My swollen eyes testified on behalf of my soul, for all that pain was masked by a radiant smile. But eventually, the anger and hurt and pain would surface like hot lava, destroying all that is in reach including myself. 

So, I do get it. 

I also know that it gets better. 

God is faithful to His promises. 

You might be at the point in life where you, on your own strength, are attempting to “fix” your life, your relationship, your anger, your depression, or your self-esteem. I was there, too. Do not find it surprising if you are unable to do so. I could not and did not. I found myself destroying all that I touched instead. 

Christ came to this earth for people like us. He died so we could live! So, we could have peace. So, we could have joy. So, we could have a new life. He is just waiting for you to open the door He has been knocking on for a while now. You have tried on your own and failed, so what do you have to lose? You would gain a God that would never fail you. He has not failed me. 

 I made the decision to get up, because He has risen for me. I shook it off and surrendered it all to Him. And, now I praise Him for saving me from my own stubbornness. You can do the same. 

Now the moments I live are of victory. God has given me favor in every area of my life. Doors are opening; educationally and financially. My family is being restored. I am thankful for the friendships in my life. My smile reflects the light in my heart, and I have peace when I rest. And, love… God is love. And, I found it.  And, so can you. 

You can find it too. 

God was guiding me; I was rebelling

What a year! I think everything that could possibly happen, happened. Literally. The start of the year was a bit rocky; finances were not all that good, my vehicle ran on fumes, father was laid off, amongst other unfortunate situations. Despite the negative, I held on to all the positive vibes the universe unearthed for me.  

I really thought I had it going on. I thought I had control of my life.  

Then, God came through.  

You see, God has been my first priority. No doubt, He comes first. However, I was trying to set up my own course. AGAIN!  As if, I did not learn my lesson the first time. 

God was guiding me; I was rebelling. 

I am a rebel by nature, an alpha female by birthright, and one stubborn girl. He made me in His image, therefore, He knows the depth of who I am.  

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:21) 

Thank you, Jesus, for your grace, love, and mercy. 

 Yes, my significant other and I parted ways, my dad is in another country, and I am an immigrant and so on and so on. My God is greater than all of it. I was placing so much hope in my significant other, that I lost a little sense of God’s greatness. We had been together since I was nineteen and we loved each other, so it was easy to think that marriage was the end goal. It would have opened the door to citizenship faster, since congress has TPS applicants on the verge of a yes or no. It just seemed so right to me. However, it did not feel right. God intervened. God gives and takes away. To many of us, like myself, feel like the good things are taken away, but that is a deception from the enemy. He did it for me because He knew I would trust Him less if I got my way. 

You see, my dad is another country. I am not able to travel. But yet, God made a way when I was not able to make one for myself! God made a way! Prayer does work. There is power in the name of Jesus, I tell you. 

I was heartbroken, sad, and angry, and yet, I was embraced in love and peace. Jesus saved me from my own tyranny. While gathering the pieces of my heartbreak, I was consoled, mended, and made whole. In the midst of my pain and sadness, I found my joy. While fighting the torments of anger, I found forgivingness. I found myself at the feet of Jesus. Many might think it to be a cliché or unreal or a joke, but God does part the sea for His people. 

Check this out!  

I have a new car. I received a raise at both of my jobs. A door opened to work with kids at a school. All bills are paid with a little extra. My credit score is looking good. I graduated. I am still documented. I have traveled to Denver. Drove to Austin. Road trip from Texas through New Mexico to Arizona and back again. My friends are getting to know Jesus. My family is united. We have health. I am happy. I have peace. And wait for it, I was able to travel to my homeland, Honduras. Only God can stunt that way!  

It all happened in one year. Imagine what God could do with your time. 

The first part of the year, I felt as if I had lost. Because of my losses, I have gained a faith that moves mountains. My God is able!! 

2019, I am officially letting you go! 

2020 here we come! 
And I am not alone. It's me,

God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  

When odds are against me God has my back

“ Get up!” “Get up and move!” At the very moment I thought about just giving up on everything, but God kept saying to “get up and move.”

Pretty crazy, huh!

Yes, God does speak to us. Sometimes, we get wrapped around our own chaos that we are unable to hear the voice of God or simply choose not to listen. In my case, I am choosing to listen. There was a time I refused to do so, believe it or not. But, I am living by Proverbs 12:15.

Yes! I wanted to give up. Life has been a journey of many downs and a few wonderful ups. In these past two months, I must confess that life has happened ALL AT ONCE.

Many of you may know that I was not born in this country. My parents immigrated to this country when I was two years old. We have not had the easiest journey becoming legal. Along the path, we faced circumstances where we became stuck. Unfortunately, with the uncertainty of the legal system, a few of my family members had to return to our country, my father being one of them.

The pain is not understood until you actually live through it. The separation of my family has been a really heartbreaking transition. Especially since I did not get to have a farewell moment.

Are you ready for the icing on the cake.

Well, that same week all of that occurred, my boyfriend of years (3-4, I never kept count of the days) also departed from my life. Talk about a double dagger. Even though I will love him forever, it is probably for the best. The words that were spoken that day between us has marked our hearts deeply. God has a plan for each one of us. I believe it! I wish the best for him. May all his goals and dreams come true. Regardless of our relationship, he is still a wonderful person. I love him so deeply but God needed me to love and trust Him more than any man.

Crazy! The two man I prayed for the most were the ones that walked out of my life on the same day.

God has a way of answering our prayers.

I prayed for the hand of God to intervene in the life of my father and significant other in a way that would bring them to the Lord. I asked for God to intervene in my life in such a way that I would know that He was with me. I kept praying and praying but I did not see any movement. OOOH!! But God was always with me! And, He definitely intervened in my life in such a way that I had no option but to dive into deep waters.

I did not ask why, instead I prayed for strength and comfort.

I did not ask why me, instead I prayed for Him to mold me.

I did not ask why again, instead I prayed for Him to use me.

I did not ask for explanations, instead I surrendered and accepted His will.

If Christ suffered, then who are we not to suffer in this world. Our pains are incomparable to what Christ endured for us. I praise Him in the good and in the bad for my joy comes from the Lord. I can definitely testify to this!!

Now the cherry on top.

Well, there is much uncertainty in my life at this very moment. Especially in the legal aspect. But I know God is with me.

I had an emotional episode in my vehicle, and the words replayed in my head “It is not my fault you’re an immigrant so why should I have to fix it.” And, I started to contemplate on all the plans I had made and how everything was supposed to be and so forth. And God spoke and said, “Who are you trusting? Me or man.” I got chills! And, I realized that I was placing my hopes in man. The political decisions might seem to be against my favor, I will not be getting married any time soon, and I have no one else to help me, but I have God on my side. That is all I need! God will make a way! He has already told and has showed me!

Praise the name of Jesus!!

So here I stand! Moving forward educationally, having favor at the job, and most importantly walking deeper with God! 

Yes, I have been sad, but I am full of joy because I know God has my back.