Tabs of my life



Monday, September 2, 2019

When odds are against me God has my back

“ Get up!” “Get up and move!” At the very moment I thought about just giving up on everything, but God kept saying to “get up and move.”

Pretty crazy, huh!

Yes, God does speak to us. Sometimes, we get wrapped around our own chaos that we are unable to hear the voice of God or simply choose not to listen. In my case, I am choosing to listen. There was a time I refused to do so, believe it or not. But, I am living by Proverbs 12:15.

Yes! I wanted to give up. Life has been a journey of many downs and a few wonderful ups. In these past two months, I must confess that life has happened ALL AT ONCE.

Many of you may know that I was not born in this country. My parents immigrated to this country when I was two years old. We have not had the easiest journey becoming legal. Along the path, we faced circumstances where we became stuck. Unfortunately, with the uncertainty of the legal system, a few of my family members had to return to our country, my father being one of them.

The pain is not understood until you actually live through it. The separation of my family has been a really heartbreaking transition. Especially since I did not get to have a farewell moment.

Are you ready for the icing on the cake.

Well, that same week all of that occurred, my boyfriend of years (3-4, I never kept count of the days) also departed from my life. Talk about a double dagger. Even though I will love him forever, it is probably for the best. The words that were spoken that day between us has marked our hearts deeply. God has a plan for each one of us. I believe it! I wish the best for him. May all his goals and dreams come true. Regardless of our relationship, he is still a wonderful person. I love him so deeply but God needed me to love and trust Him more than any man.

Crazy! The two man I prayed for the most were the ones that walked out of my life on the same day.

God has a way of answering our prayers.

I prayed for the hand of God to intervene in the life of my father and significant other in a way that would bring them to the Lord. I asked for God to intervene in my life in such a way that I would know that He was with me. I kept praying and praying but I did not see any movement. OOOH!! But God was always with me! And, He definitely intervened in my life in such a way that I had no option but to dive into deep waters.

I did not ask why, instead I prayed for strength and comfort.
I did not ask why me, instead I prayed for Him to mold me.
I did not ask why again, instead I prayed for Him to use me.
I did not ask for explanations, instead I surrendered and accepted His will.

If Christ suffered, then who are we not to suffer in this world. Our pains are incomparable to what Christ endured for us. I praise Him in the good and in the bad for my joy comes from the Lord. I can definitely testify to this!!

Now the cherry on top.

Well, there is much uncertainty in my life at this very moment. Especially in the legal aspect. But I know God is with me.

I had an emotional episode in my vehicle, and the words replayed in my head “It is not my fault you’re an immigrant so why should I have to fix it.” And, I started to contemplate on all the plans I had made and how everything was supposed to be and so forth. And God spoke and said, “Who are you trusting? Me or man.” I got chills! And, I realized that I was placing my hopes in man. The political decisions might seem to be against my favor, I will not be getting married any time soon, and I have no one else to help me, but I have God on my side. That is all I need! God will make a way! He has already told and has showed me!

Praise the name of Jesus!!

So here I stand! Moving forward educationally, having favor at the job, and most importantly walking deeper with God! 

Yes, I have been sad, but I am full of joy because I know God has my back.

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